[ she works her jaw for a moment, but it's less trying to hold in anger and more trying to work out what else to say. but eventually her shoulders slump a little. ]

I don't really know what to think. Or how to feel. If he's happy, then-- of course I'm happy for him. Any of us would be. Maybe it's the stress getting to me, or the lack of real sleep, or being in new scenarios again, but I just can't help thinking that if anybody, it should have been you.

[ a pause. ]

... or us.